to the person i almost considered "my life"

when you came into my life,
i told myself i would love you
and never gonna hurt you…
you were my bestfriend,
my love,
my everything…
til one day,you came and said,
“im tired,im afraid i cant stay with you any longer…”
i refuse to believe you at first,
but when i saw those tears fell down your cheeks,
it spells out the truth about how you really feel inside.
you were deeply hurt,i know…
i was hurt too…
you cant even look straight into my eyes when you said,
“it was too late…”
my life has changed at that very moment…
i just found myself on bended knees yelling…
why???
i was down,completely…
but i had to be strong…
until the day has come for us to say goodbye…
i knew it,but i just cant accept it…
if only i knew that was the last time,
i should have held you and never let go.
the kiss,whisper,and embrace…
it was the last…
i can feel your arms falling down slowly…
i know youre gone.
we always thought our love was enough for us to last…
it was a sad ending…
its God’s will…
i know you’re happy now…
and me,here i am hurting…
broken…
how can i forget all those times?
how can i start over once again?
i know i cant get you back.
this has been the longest moment of my life…
the most painful time i ever had…
the sadness of the night brings back the days we had,
the time you let go of me,
and the moment that i surrendered you…
even silence reminds me of all the sorrow…
the pain…
and my hopelessness…
let me suffer in silence,til i get over you.
slowly,i can let you go…
and i will be me once again.
i will be keeping my promise,
i will move on…
but you will always be,
a part of me…
hear me say this…
“i have found the essence of my life,
i have discovered a world that’s beautiful,
because of you…”
my love,my misery…
im letting go of you now…
its time to set myself free…
this is the hardest thing i will do,
coz i still love you…
and this love…
this is all i have…

my personal perception about love

at first, i thought, love is simple. ung tipong msaya k n kapag anjan ang taong mahal mo, pag alam mong mahal k rin ng taong mahal mo. but as i grow older, i realized n hindi lng gnun k-precise ang totoong meaning ng love. kung susuriing mabuti, malalim ang tunay n kahulugan nito. hindi to nasusukat sa kung ganu kau katagal magkasama, kung panu kau ngsimula, at kung ganu kau kasaya o kalungkot. ang tunay na pag-ibig ay nasa tao kung panu nya to kayang pangalagaan at kung pano nya kayang kontrolin at ipakita sa taong minamahal nya kung ganu nya ito kamahal at kung gano kalaki ang kaya nyang isacrifice to be with that person, to prove that his love is true. mahirap, komplikado. sa panahon ngayon, bihira k n lng makakita ng ganung klaseng tao, ung kayang ipaglaban k sa kung anu mang dumating na pagkakataon. msyadong ideal, pero gnun tlga ang love…mahirap para sa mga taong hindi kayang maintindihan ang konseptong ito, madali para sa mga taong naghahanap ng tunay na pag-ibig.

Christmas wish of my broken heart...

Ngayong darating na pasko, isa lang ang hinihiling ko, yun ay ang makilala at makita ang taong katulad mo. At pag nangyari yon, gagawin ko ang lahat para mahalin nya ako. Hindi ko hahayaang mangyari sa aming dalawa ang kinahantungan ng ating relasyon. Sa pagkakataong ito, ipagmamalaki ko sa mundo na mahal ko sya at ipagmamalaki nya rin ako. Pero meron bang kagayang-kagaya mo? Palagay ko’y wla ngang taong makakatulad mo.Ngunit s kabila nun, umaasa parin akong meron sa isang sulok ng mundong ito. At sa parte ng mundong iyon, sana meron isang tao ang naghahanap rin ng isang katulad ko.

why??

so many questions are troubling my mind now. and since the break-up, i hardly find any way to pick the broken pieces of my heart. i tried almost everything but nothing can ever ease the agony.. you certainly captured me with your charm and now i cant let go…

r u feeling the same way or it really doesn’t matter to u at all.. do u also feel the emptiness like the hollow portion in my heart.. r u fine as if nothing has ever happened.. r u happy now that u know that i am tearing apart..

How i wish time will mend the pain, but its been a month and i guess it will still take a long way.. for now, no any pain killers can relieve the sorrow but i must go on and live my life even without someone like you..

despite all of these, a part of me still wanting u to come back,.. a part of me saying my heart still beats for u and only for u… ill be a hypocrite if i would say i am okay; and behind my faking smile, the loneliness hides…

if ever u read this letter, i want you to know that i am still here waiting, and i guess i will forever be waiting,,, and i love you a million times a day…

Graduation: the moment of truth

This is the “Big Day” we have been all waiting for. After 17 years of hard works and sacrifices, we can finally get the reward, our college diplomas.

Many things flash back when I think of this day, the day of graduation. These things were my certain past experiences during my four-year stay in the university. Four years of the ups and downs, the tears and joys that make studying challenging and fulfilling. These four years of burning the midnight oil, were not easy, but I never lost my vision; that vision of success, maintaining the philosophy that in every tear, there is forthcoming joy, that in every obstacle and hardships, there will be a rewarding success. And that makes the graduation day a day worth remembering for both parents and students. Because it is the day when toils and labors are rewarded. It is the day of retrospection, for parents, whose means are inadequate to support daily needs, yet have never ceased to strive to give their children the highest level of education, and for students, who are not discouraged to run the race, with eyes drawn to the most coveted prize of success, though obstacles before them seem insurmountable. This day is truly a day of jubilation, for both parents and students who will always remember this with teary eyes yet joyful hearts.

But many of us may come to think that our graduation is a proof of success. I humbly submit that it is not. I have once read that “You may get all A’s and fail the test of life.” The diploma we will receive is not the real proof of success. It is not a guarantee of a good future. It is not simply how much you do it, which will determine whether or not you will succeed. Success is the capacity to dream at its fullest and the determination to live in relation to that dream. However, as one American poet once said: “In dreams begin responsibilities.” Indeed, where would many of us be if we did not dream. If we allowed ourselves to be defined by limits instead of possibilities. The tragedy of life does not lie in not reaching your goals, it is not a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity not to dream. It is not a disgrace to reach for the stars but it is when you have no stars to reach for. Not failure but low aim is a sin.

With that, the next quality of success is failure. Yes, Failure! Behind every success is a failure. There are many failures in my life. But I never lose hope. I strove very hard to reach my goals. Just like several personalities that started as a scrap. Jose Rizal, our national hero was a very disciplined student that his classmates always teased him. Abraham Lincoln became US president after failing thirteen times to be elected in the various lower positions. Albert Einstein, a famed math genius, failed his high school math. Winston Churchill cannot be admitted at Cambridge or Oxford University but he became a Prime Minister of England and is considered as one of the world’s strongest leaders. You see, failure is a part of life. It is a great wall that must be climbed if one wishes to continue to experience more happiness and success. The most successful persons are not those who simply made mistakes. They are the ones who have learned the most from the mistakes they committed. So when failure comes, and surely it will, face it and accept it without excuse. And then, go on.

And finally, success must be shared to be enjoyed. Resist the temptation to retaliate, but applaud for somebody’s achievements. The secret of success, I believe, is to talk less and do more. Dream and aim for the best. Treat failures as accomplishments, and let them serve as our driving force to strive for more. Be good to others. When you are good, you are an asset, if you are an asset, you are loved, when you are loved, the opportunities come easy. I realized that life, for it to move to the top and for life to shape for the better, must be nurtured, must be nourished with the best of a dream, with the most desired of an ambition, and with the handsomest of an attitude. I am greatly inspired by the fact that it is not the aptitude alone, but aptitude polished by a positive attitude that brings one to a higher altitude.

Another thing, poverty is definitely not a hindrance to success. The other side of poverty is prosperity in the making. Lucky are the poor for they have all the chances to become rich, unfortunate are the rich for they have to face one reality in life and that is of becoming a very sad poor.

After receiving our much-coveted diplomas, everything will change. For many, job-hunting becomes their first vocation. For some, this could be the end of their school life. For those planning never to get tired of formal schooling through post graduate studies, life could be really different.

Where do we go from where we are? How fast can we get there? Will we attain our dreams? Will we survive life’s challenges? Our answers depend on us. Dreaming dreams is only part of dreaming. Working out to produce results is the whole of it. Believe in Santa Clause. Believe in magical self. Believe in Love. Believe in Life-models. Believe in yourself. If you don’t, who will??